Is Reiki Real? Carol Brought a Spreadsheet

Carol was an accountant. She preferred things she could put in a column. Her coworker would not stop talking about Reiki, so Carol did what Carol does. She searched "is Reiki real," read for two hours and made a spreadsheet. Then she booked a session with The Paul Hesch Frequency as a field test. She arrived with a clipboard. "I have some questions," Carol said. "Go ahead," Paul said. "Can you prove that Reiki energy exists?" "No." Carol blinked. She had prepared for a longer answer. "Does Reiki cure anything?" "I'd never tell you that. If you have a medical problem, see your doctor. A lot of people do find a session very relaxing. You can lie down and judge that part for yourself." Carol wrote "refreshingly unhelpful to my argument" on the clipboard. Before she got on the table she scored herself. Stress level: eight out of ten. Jaw: clenched. Thoughts per minute: too many. Then she lay down, fully clothed, and prepared to be unimpressed for an hour.

Around minute ten, Carol noticed she was no longer composing an email in her head. Around minute twenty she lost track of the minutes, which had not happened since college. At some point her jaw let go, and she had not known it was holding on. When it was over, Carol sat up and scored herself again. Stress level: two. Jaw: unclenched. Thoughts per minute: she could not find any. "What did you do?" she asked. "Reiki," Paul said. "That isn't an explanation." "I know. How do you feel?" Carol looked at her clipboard for a while. "Annoyingly good," she said. Back at her desk she filled in the spreadsheet. Before: eight. After: two. Under "Explanation" she typed "pending." Under "Next steps" she typed "book again, gather more data." She has gathered data four more times. She says the study is ongoing.

Reiki is a complementary wellness practice and does not replace medical or mental health care. Experiences vary.