Tarot and Zodiac Songs: Earl Could Not Get the Taurus Song Out of His Head

Earl does not believe in astrology. Earl believes in oil changes, the weather channel and being early. His wife, Darlene, is a Taurus, and she will tell you so. For thirty-four years Earl has heard "I'm a Taurus" offered as the reason for everything, from the thermostat setting to why they are not moving the couch. One night Earl was looking for blues on YouTube Music. He likes the gritty kind, with harmonica. Up came a song called "Stubborn As A Bull (Taurus)" by The Paul Hesch Frequency. Earl snorted and pressed play as a joke. The first verse was Darlene. The second verse was also Darlene. By the chorus Earl was looking over his shoulder, because somebody had clearly been in his house taking notes.

"Darlene," he called. "Come listen to this. They wrote a song about you and the couch." Darlene listened with her arms crossed. "That is not funny, Earl." Then she played it eleven more times. She sent it to her sister. She made it her ringtone. Now Earl had a problem, because the song would not leave his head. He hummed it at the hardware store. He hummed it at church, and got an elbow for it. He went looking for more. He found a song for every zodiac sign. He found songs for tarot cards, for angel numbers and for the archangels, all of them gritty blues, and most of them funny. Each one told a little story, with a lesson tucked in where you weren't looking for it. Earl is a Scorpio. He played "Don't Test Me (Scorpio)" and got very quiet. "Well?" said Darlene. "I don't want to talk about it," said Earl. Earl still does not believe in astrology. He will tell you that while humming. He also now owns a vinyl record with a tarot card on the cover, and he has asked Darlene not to mention it at church. Darlene has booked herself a tarot reading. Earl says he is only driving her there. We'll see about that.