Thermostat Wars (Married Couple Comedy Song)

Full Song Lyrics

Thermostat Wars (Married Couple Comedy Song) - [Verse 1]

Set it at sixty-eight, felt just right to me, Walked back in the room, found it up at seventy-three.

Said "who touched the thermostat," heard nobody confess, But I know that look on her face, I know she's the culprit, I guess.

[Verse 2]

Turned it back down quiet, thought I won the fight, Woke up in the mornin', sweatin' through the night.

She'd snuck it up to eighty while I was fast asleep,

Said "I was cold babe," I said "woman I nearly baked like a sheep."

[Chorus]

It's a thermostat war and ain't nobody wins,

Sneakin' round the hallway like a couple secret agents.

She wants it like a summer, I want it like the North Pole, Been fightin' over degrees since I don't know, since forever, since we're old.

(Since forever, Lord since forever) [Verse 3]

Hid a little space heater underneath her side one day, She hid a blanket in my chair, we're both playin' this game.

Kids caught us both in action, said "y'all are actin' strange," We said "this ain't strange baby, this is just how love arranged." [Chorus - repeat]

It's a thermostat war and ain't nobody wins,

Sneakin' round the hallway like a couple secret agents.

She wants it like a summer, I want it like the North Pole, Been fightin' over degrees since I don't know, since forever, since we're old.

(Since forever, Lord since forever)

[Bridge - half time, harmonica]

Twenty years of marriage, still ain't settled on a number,

Still creep around at midnight while the other one's in slumber.

But funny thing about it, we always meet somewhere, Seventy-two's our compromise, and honestly that's fair.

[Outro Chorus]

It's a thermostat war but it's a war we love to fight, Sneakin' round in sweaters, sneakin' round at night.

Ain't about the temperature, it's about the give and take, Thermostat wars are just love notes we somehow learned to make.